I don’t usually do this, but I got a super passive-aggressive X-mas Note from some relatives that I wanted to share with you. -Paul
Dear Friends and Family,
I know. I know. Isn’t this Christmas Card a bit late? You can blame that on Mark and EZ Printer and Supplies of Liden, Ohio. After dealing with them since November, it should be called “Pain in the “A” Printer and Supplies. But you can read my Yelp review to know more about that ordeal. (I wish you could leave ZERO stars). All this to say, Mark was once again wrong once again about shopping locally. (Not like anyone is keeping track 😉 - that reminds me, don’t ask about the DIY Basement remodel).
Ok, so, what can you say about 2024 besides, it’s OVER! (Am I right?)
Mark’s job search continues; apparently, he’s looking for something for “creatively fulfilling,” which might explain why instead of looking for a job on LinkedIn, he prefers drawing his comic book, oh I’m sorry, “graphic novel.” Everyone keep your eyes out for “Scantily Clad Busty Warrior… Fighting Dragons?” at your local comic book shop…sometime soon?
Despite what you have heard, Emily has not FLUNKED out of school. She is just taking a break, which I guess extends to posing for our Xmas card, I didn’t realize we were so “Cringe”. Rest assured, she’s becoming quite the entrepreneur. Apparently, she’s been making a lot of money on Tik Tok shop. I wouldn’t know because we are blocked from following her on all social media platforms.
Yes, Sophia still loves playing Softball. Unfortunately, that hasn’t translated into any wins for her team. However, the new $300 bat she “asked” for at Christmas might be a “game changer.” (Can you return a used bat if it doesn’t work? Asking for a friend).
Ethan turned 9 and I can’t get enough of him or his impressions. He has us laughing all day with his Jeff Goldblum meets the Rock impression, “Uh, uh, how do you say, do you smell what I’m cooking? It’s a Pasta Primavera” (HAHA). Now, he doesn’t just keep us in stitches; he’s also been helping the community by collecting can openers and donating them to local soup kitchens to help open up all those cans. So they can finally stop saying, please stop bringing cans that need openers. At school, he takes after his mother. He has straight A’s, and he’s even in advanced mathematics, something the accounting department of EZ Printer and Supplies could use a refresher in.
As a family, we experimented with the single-parent vacation idea, which I saw on my friend Diane’s Substack (I never thought paying for thoughts I used to get in the text would be so fun…🤪). So, while Mark went on a road trip, I flew to Ft Lauderdale for a reset. I miss my time as Senor Siesta’s on the Beach, only go if you aren’t allergic to Tequila and let me tell you, I’m not. We both came back rested; I honestly forget what they did, but part of their trip was touring the shooting locations of John Hughes films. I saw all the pictures, but they just looked like houses to me.
What about Mamma Bear? Well, if you want to know whats up with me, visit my Amazon wish list. HAHA Just Joking. But seriously, I got promoted at the Church. I’m now in charge of outreach, and I’m not keeping track of who’s not showing up on Sundays, or am I? HAHA!
Okay, I gotta go back to seamlessly juggling work/life balance. But I’ll let you know I’ve mastered cooking for three people who never want the same meal.
We hope this letter finds you happy and healthy and if I disn’t respond to your texts, it’s because my phone broke. Here’s to a wonderful 2025 ahead!
With love,
The Johnson Family (Is it that hard to spell EZ PRINTER!)
(Mark, Susan, Emily, Sophia, and Ethan)
PS: President Grant, our beloved Cat, died this year.
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