EXCLUSIVE: DELETED SCENE FROM TRAP
The following scene was meant to be the opening scene from the film, TRAP, it was cut for time and details the plan set in place by THE FBI PROFILER the day before the film takes place. NO SPOILERS
INT. TANAKA ARENA - LOWER CONCOURSE - STAGE - DAY
SHELLY JAFFE, Head of Stadium Operations, approaches a podium and addresses 3,000 stadium employees on the floor below her. (NOTE: All Employees are dressed in either Eagles or 76er’s gear)
SHELLY: Good afternoon everyone, It’s me Shelly Jaffe, head of Stadium Operations. I appreciate you all for coming in on your day off.
EMPLOYEE: We’re not getting paid for this?
SHELLY: No, this is just a meeting. It’s not technically “work”.
EMPLOYEE 2: You said it was “mandatory”. That feels like work.
SHELLY: I don’t think I said mandatory…But that’s beside the point. We have a situation. I want to introduce you to Dr. Josephine Grant.
Shelly gestures to stage left, where DR JOSEPHINE GRANT, the famed FBI profiler, emerges and approaches the podium.
DR GRANT: Hello, everyone. Thank you, Shelly. I’m the famed FBI Serial Killer profiler Dr. Josephine Grant, and you all are going to help me catch a serial killer.
A murmur rumbles through the crowd.
EMPLOYEE 4: Um, I’m sorry…Just real quick, we work concessions.
DR GRANT: That’s precisely why we need you; a serial killer will be at tomorrow’s concert, and you will be our eyes on the ground and in the stadium.
EMPLOYEE 5: IN THE STADIUM! Um, Fuck that I’m not trying to get myself killed. I’m calling in sick.
DR GRANT: I assure you, you will be safe. We have this situation entirely under control. We need your help to make sure we don’t miss him. We know exactly who we are looking for—a man.
Long Silence.
EMPLOYEE 6: That’s it?
DR GRANT: Um, no, he’s in his mid-30s to mid-40s.
Long Silence
EMPLOYEE 7: Um, that’s pretty broad. Is there anything else to help narrow it down?
DR GRANT: Well, we’ve had reports that he’s a black man with a shaved head….
The employees nod their heads.
DR GRANT: OR a Latino man with long hair…
The employees now look at each other, confused.
DR GRANT: OR a white man,…with a rabbit tattoo on his arm.
EMPLOYEE 8: That’s so specific yet so vague.
EMPLOYEE 9: How big is that rabbit tattoo?
DR GRANT: Oh, it’s tiny, about the size of a quarter, on the underside of his wrist.
EMPLOYEE 10: Wait, so you’re telling us that you know this guy has a teeny tiny tattoo but aren’t sure what race he is?
DR GRANT: I don’t see color. I see distinguishing features.
EMPLOYEE 11: I’d argue this is a moment that would help if you would see color.
EMPLOYEE 12: Also, the idea of being color blind to race is way more destructive than you might think. By not acknowledging race, you are blind to racism, unwilling to recognize where its effects have shaped opportunity or to use race-conscious solutions to address it.
DR GRANT: Okay, fair point. So, if you see any man matching these descriptions, please report him.
EMPLOYEE 13: So if we see a Latino, Black, or White Man in his 30s or 40s, let you know.
DR GRANT: Exactly.
EMPLOYEE 14: That could be thousands of people.
DR GRANT: That’s why we have all the cops in Philadelphia on duty to help you.
EMPLOYEE 15: Oh, will they stop everyone who comes in at the door?
DR GRANT: (Laughs) Oh No, no. We don’t want to spook him, so they will arrive 10 minutes before the concert starts, and we can detain everyone when they leave. It will be more orderly that way.
EMPLOYEE 15: I don’t get that. But how do you know he will even be here?
DR GRANT: We found a piece of receipt for the ticket to tomorrow’s show in one of his hideouts.
EMPLOYEE 16: How do you know it’s his receipt?
EMPLOYEE 17: Couldn’t it be someone else’s receipt? Like someone he killed.
EMPLOYEE 18: Maybe he bought a ticket for a friend?
DR. GRANT: I…I mean, it’s his…
EMPLOYEE 19: I’m sorry to interrupt, but when you say receipt, does it mean he purchased this ticket from a cash register?
DR GRANT: Um..Yes!
EMPLOYEE 20: Why wouldn’t he use Apple Pay or a Credit Card? Lady Raven tickets are very expensive.
EMPLOYEE 21: Where would you even go to get a receipt?
EMPLOYEE 22: Yeah, most Tickets are the receipts.
EMPLOYEE 23: If we are asking questions? Why is Lady Raven doing an afternoon concert? I’ve never heard of anyone doing that.
DR GRANT: Shelly?
Shelly shrugs.
DR GRANT: Never mind that once he’s here, and we think we have ID’ed him, we will rip him from his seat and do a complete profile on him to determine if we are right.
EMPLOYEE 24: And if you aren’t.
DR GRANT: We send them back to their seats and will continue to do so until we find him.
EMPLOYEE 24: Will you have plain clothes officers mixed into the crowd?
DR GRANT: No! All the officers will be in uniform.
EMPLOYEE 25: won't that make it easier for the killer to recognize when he’s surrounded?
EMPLOYEE 26: It’s like playing Battleship, but you can see the other person’s board.
EMPLOYEE 27: How do you know it’s not one of us? A lot of us fit the profile?
Employees start checking each other out.
DR GRANT: No…I don’t think any of you are him.
EMPLOYEE 28: What if he tries to blend into the work staff?
DR GRANT: Good Question; we are giving you a password, Hamilton.
EMPLOYEE 29: Do all of us get the same password?
DR GRANT: Yes
EMPLOYEE 30: Maybe we should have another one, and you should say it more “secretly” because you just told a room of a few thousand people what the password is very loudly and quickly and I bet someone will leak that.
DR GRANT: No. We like Hamilton. It's not just a password. If any of you are stopped, you all will have to show a special card like this.
Dr Grant displays a white business card.
EMPLOYEE 31: These look like business cards to the stadium.
EMPLOYEE 32: Did you make those?
EMPLOYEE 33: Why would the stadium have a generic business card? There isn’t even an employee name on those.
DR. GRANT: Trust me to do my job, and you do yours?
EMPLOYEE 34: It seems like you want us to do your job, too.
EMPLOYEE 35: I have a question. I work Merch. If I run out of shirts? Can I take anyone down to basement with me to get extra shirts?
DR GRANT: Do you normally do that? Also, why are you keeping the artist's merchandise in the stadium's storage? Doesn’t her tour go from city to city every two days?
EMPLOYEE 35: It’s just easier. I like to make a big fuss like a delivery is coming mid-show, but I just get another box from the basement.
DR GRANT: If the person looks trustworthy, we could use him on our team. So if they say they are “cool,” - trust them implicitly.
EMPLOYEE 36: Does Lady Raven know about this?
DR GRANT: Yes, she’s helping me catch him.
EMPLOYEE 37: Why?
DR GRANT: I want her to be on the lookout too.
EMPLOYEE 38: I feel like you are telling too many people.
DR GRANT: Don’t worry about us. He’ll never escape us. Now grab a business card, and we will see you tomorrow. If your friend can’t make the meeting, take a card for them and tell them the password.
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That was sooooo funny. Paul Scheer, keep writing!
PS Another book, maybe? 🤔
I am so glad I saw this so that I could laugh at this scene. OHHHHH to see you, Jason, June play this out ...