WHAT SUMMER IS THIS?

Brat Summer is dead. But what is next? I have a few suggestions

We’re almost in July, and somehow we still don’t know what summer this is. Last year was Brat Summer, but this year? We’re adrift. We need to make a decision…Please vote so we can get our Memes, Op-eds, and Etsy shop merch ready.

Big Zombie Dong Summer

28 Years Later brings us a hero we need and a Dong we fear.

AI Ennui Summer

ChatGPT wrote your breakup text and we are all dating AIs

Recessioncore Summer

You’re not broke—you’re aesthetically poor.

Quietly Feral Summer

You started with matcha. Now you haven’t showered in weeks. You keep saying “I’m in my soft nature era” while hissing at your neighbors.

Tinned Fish Girl Summer

Anchovies on everything. You are both pretentious and apocalypse-ready.

Everything’s Fine Summer

We’re fucked. But at least our drink has an edible flower in it. Aperol Spritz’s for everyone.

Mayorcore Summer

You suddenly care about local elections. You say things like “ranked choice voting.” You’ll ghost them after the primary. But still.

False Peace Summer

The ceasefires are fragile. The brunch plans are tense. Drone footage has replaced TikTok dances.

Mushroom Core Summer

You listen to HAIM. You eat jackfruit. You cry in the bulk foods aisle. You’re not vegan—you’re spiritually compostable.

NPC Summer

You wear headphones with nothing playing. You’ve stopped forming opinions. You just react with emojis now. 🫠🫠🫠

Cast your vote. What Summer Are You Living In?

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I’m ON TOUR

PORTLAND - JULY 10th - FIRST SHOW SOLD OUT. LATE SHOW ADDED!

VANCOUVER - JULY 12Th - NEW PRICES. GREAT SEATS

SEATTLE - JULY 10

I’m still signing and personalizing my book..Pick Hardcover or Paperback

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