WELCOME TO SCHEER NONSENSE
Remember When the Internet Was Fun? This Newsletter Does.
Hey there, I'm Paul Scheer, and welcome to Scheer Nonsense, a weekly love letter to the chaotic, wonderful weirdness of the early internet, back when people had blogs instead of "personal brands."
You probably know me from various projects where I talk about bad movies (How Did This Get Made?, Unspooled), play questionable characters (The League, Black Monday, NTSF:SD: SUV::), or finding the weirdest stuff on the internet with DARK WEB. This newsletter is all of that energy distilled into weekly written form.
But here we are.
What You're Actually Getting:
Stream-of-consciousness rants about modern life (Why do all apps want to send notifications? What's with the aggressive friendliness of grocery store employees?)
Essays about Pop culture
Lists that serve no purpose except to make you think (like "Ranking Disney Villains by How Good They'd Be at Running a Small Business")
Personal stories that probably should have stayed personal but didn't
Deep dives into conspiracies about mundane things (current theory: why do grocery carts have magnets in them? )
This isn't a productivity newsletter. This isn't going to change your life or optimize your morning routine. This is digital comfort food — familiar, occasionally unhealthy, but exactly what you need sometimes.
The Brutal Truth About Subscriptions:
Look, I'm surrounded by writers I love on Substack who charge $10-15 a month and then paywall every single interesting post. None of that bullshit here. This newsletter is free because I believe in the democratic distribution of nonsense.
However, here's the deal with the paid tier ($5/month): Substack's algorithm heavily favors newsletters with paid subscribers. They get promoted more, discovered more, and basically treated like the popular kids at the digital lunch table. So if you want to help get the word out and support this beautiful mess, upgrading helps the newsletter reach more people who need to know that Captain Crunch was dishonorably discharged.
What paid subscribers get:
Monthly "Ask Paul Anything" sessions where you can probe the depths of my questionable wisdom (recent questions: "What's your beef with automatic hand dryers?" and "Do you think birds are real?")
"Hot Recs" — my monthly recommendations for movies, books, and apps I'm currently obsessed with
Access to the complete archive
The warm feeling of knowing you're gaming Substack's algorithm with me
But seriously, whether you pay or not, you're getting the full Paul Scheer experience: unfiltered, unhinged, and surprisingly heartfelt when you least expect it. Most of the good stuff will always be free because that's how the early internet worked, and I'm old enough to remember when that was a thing.
