Welcome to Scheer Nonsense—a weekly dispatch of fake facts, unsolicited opinions, and proudly bad ideas from me, Paul Scheer.

If you’ve ever listened to How Did This Get Made?, Unspooled, or seen me on The League, Black Monday, NTSF:SD: SUV::, or Human Giant, this is the written version of all the thoughts I didn’t say out loud. And some I absolutely should’ve kept to myself.

I send out something new each week (and let’s use “week” loosely). It might be:

• A very dumb list

• A recommendation

• A conspiracy theory about IKEA

• Or a deeply personal confession about my feud with a child’s birthday “Balloon Artist”

I write it because I miss the early internet, where people blogged without a plan, a manager, or a sponsorship deal. This is that: a newsletter that’s not trying to optimize your life, waste a small part of it in the most entertaining way possible.

Subscriptions Are Free. But…

If you enjoy Scheer Nonsense and feel like tipping your neighborhood newsletter guy, there’s a paid tier. No pressure—nothing’s behind a paywall (yet). But I do drop bonus nonsense there occasionally:

• Weird extras

• Drafts, I was too nervous to publish

• Videos

Think of it like putting a dollar in the guitar case of a guy playing kazoo solos on a subway platform. Why does he keep his Kazoo in such a big case?

Click here to subscribe, or upgrade to paid if you’re feeling bold (or bored).